You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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