I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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