I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
