so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
