What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
