32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
