I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
