fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Randomize
