Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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