I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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