bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
