Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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