I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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