trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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