Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
