he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
