I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
