I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
