DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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