He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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