$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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