You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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