We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
