I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
