His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
