He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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