I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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