My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
