I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
