At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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