remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
