Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
