Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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