How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
