Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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