he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
