we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
