we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
