everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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