I'm jealous of your bromance
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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