Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I did not marry a roomba.
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