I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
