If that was your dad, he is hot
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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