bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
