It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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