so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
