As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
