Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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