Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
how does that bad decision feel?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
