The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
